Wednesday, December 17, 2008

17 Dec

Long-term reasons to save

* 2009 trip to ComicCon. July 22-26. Would really like to attend a large, significant con and 2009 marks the 40 year anniversary. Not definite but I may have already been researching it

* 2009 trip to Germany/Czech Republic w/ the mother. December 2009. This one is not definite as she only briefly discussed it last week.

* General saving up for future move to NYC. Ouchies. This one is obviously difficult and, yes, more permanent than others




Immediate save up for:

* General money for Anime Detour. Potential as (see above) my overwhelming desire to attend a con. However, it's supposedly a poor excuse for one.

* Remaining Xmas presents!


In other, completely unrelated news, could anyone remind me why I chose the business program? Art would have been so much easier. By easier I mean more to my enjoyment rather than utter loathing. I’m too cool for business. The mere reason I want this degree is for the simple matter of, “I’m so prestigious with my half-assed attempt at obtaining this worthless piece of paper.”

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Work

CBS Radio is going through some rather dramatic changes. None of which seem for the good of the station or my sanity.

Most basic summary ever: a lot of people got laid off on Monday. Including the two bosses I work(ed) with very closely. It seems like are merely on vacation until I remember their offices are entirely cleared. Their e-mails are suspended as well as their login IDs for the computers. Their boss and I had a heart-to-heart today among any remaining clutter the two of them left behind. It was the most vulnerable I have or ever wish to see him.

I'm at a loss for words.This sucks.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Need to move. Now.

Career future has been re-vamped within past week due to general frustration at home, work and life in general. Stepping stone of Chicago is out of the picture. NYC is the next goal. Ideally in 2 years I'll be there.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How much do I love this? Let me count the ways

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y-x2fWKbmo

The fashion!
How one attempts to save this disaster...and even they can't accomplish that
The random mid-song break for a soda
The primping
THE OMG U 2 HAVE TEH BUTT SEXZ
The high-kicks
Hip-sashaying
Jazz hands

Best 3 minutes of my life
Let's all dance in the street!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

hating life one day at a time?

Job search to occur sooner than later now.
Completely got muffed at work this weekend to the point where I literally broke down at work and started to cry. I don't cry. That's not a good sign when WORK does that to a person, let alone me. Luckily there was one other individual on my floor (naturally, my bosses were gone early for the day/weekend) to witness such a moment. And I've gone through hell with him so it wasn't that shocking. In actuality, he was the only one in that entire building who could have said anything to calm me down in the slightest.

Asked for this ONE weekend off so I can celebrate and have some sort of social life as I've come to realize that work is nothing more than a soul sucking entity devouring any form of enjoyment out of life. Yes, there are many individuals I adore that I work with. But the ones higher up, the deciders, failed to realize that I put in a time-off request weeks ago for this weekend. Didn't happen. I'm stuck working tomorrow afternoon. Rationalized that I could go up afterwards only to just now see that any festivities that were occurring are tonight. Where I'm stuck in Albertville.

There are so few moments in my life where I feel completely under-appreciated. I've covered for my bosses' asses too many times to count and this is the payment I get. I don't get a single "thank you" why should I expect to have a weekend to relax and gain any form of my sanity back?

Yet they still fail to realize they have completely given up on their jobs and I have to take the slack for it. You're bailing out of work early? Okay, I'll make sure the rest of YOUR to-do list is complete. What? The other promotions staff fucked up? No worries, I'll fix their errors. You want me to stay late? Sure, no problem.

Icing on the cake is I can no longer have any sort of fun on Halloween. Yes, I'm stuck working. What a travesty my life has become where my friends are more surprised when I am actually able to make it out rather than canceling on them at the last minute.

Factors keeping me:
Most of the people
Freebies (because I'm greedy like that)
The fact this IS a job in the music industry (not what I want in the future but connections exist) and the job market is hard.

NOT keeping me:
Little pay
Freebies dwindling. Example, after all the work I do I asked for tickets to a show that my parents could enjoy. Up until 4pm today I didn't get the tickets. For tomorrow's show. Boss had a pair left and threw them at me.
The lack of a social life
The fact work can now actually make me cry
Any other aspect of this post that further entails how much I loathe work and my very existence at this point.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

5 October continued

Needless to say, work was terrible.
Was supposed to arrive for the TC Marathon by 5:30. Arrived only to have it still be pitch black outside as well as my coworkers and myself the only ones there. Besides the mass amounts of bunnies we saw on the sidewalks. Others showed up around 7-7:15.
Wasn't terrible; sleep deprivation didn't hurt me terribly. Medication was not required. Only a little amount of coffee. However, the constant rain put a greater damper on the entire situation. Causing my illness I've been attempting to recoup from come back full-force. Actually, I believe it's worse now.
So I've been awake for 41 hours now. Even sicker than before. Oh, and crazy is arriving tomorrow. Life rules

Sign that Tina is an idiot

I have been awake since 6am yesterday. I am currently still awake as I have to be at work in less than two hours (5am to be exact). Test to study for. Sleep deprived. Tired. The unfortunate combination of coffee and/or energy drinks with a helping of NoDoz may be required; meaning I'll be jittery for a good three days.
Sucks sucks sucks

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Oh Yeah

How I Met Your Mother on Monday night? Cuteness! And oh my, the touch of angst
Barney+Robin 4EVA

ZOMG Another Update!?

Halloween Update:

1. Catsuit. Check.
Need to add elastic bands to leg ends and create an 80’s-esque leotard otherwise face the dreaded camel-toe
2. Shoes. Check.
Need red dye of some sort as they are not the proper color. Website said fuchsia but was assured by customer service that they were more red than pink. False. Definitely pink.
3. Gloves. Check. Perfect.

All in all, three things have been accomplished while two more have been added. This is why I don’t dress up for Halloween! I desire epic costumes that take far too much time and effort. Not really feeling the slutty bumble bee in a bag costume idea. At least now I can use said costume for events to come. I’m thinking Anime Detour in April. Perhaps a Doc Hammer appearance considering previous Adult Swim writers have made their appearance!?

Things to do Wednesday, September 24th:

  1. Work out. Been feeling sluggish. I was going to do so tonight (gym is open 24/7) but mother was afraid of some elusive Albertville rapist who strikes in gym parking lots.
  2. Call Mankato regarding Finland credits. Either yell or threaten to involve my mother as those are the only options to getting things accomplished
  3. Contact Finnish teacher to inquire why one class has not been sent over
  4. Clean bathroom. Would have been done today hadn’t a thunderstorm left me the savior of two terrified puppies.
  5. School. Blah.
  6. Work, tape Criminal Minds and see the movie The Duchess OR stay at home and watch Criminal Minds. All depending on whether work needs me.


Finnish shooting yesterday. Sadness.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Bitches are crazy. And too dense to notice the obvious.


Halloween costume hunt underway.
Tina, meet Molotov.

Needed:
• Catsuit of some sort
o Extra precaution so things will stay in place and the low-cut front and back can be made semi-possibly for authenticity.
o Double-sided tape would also probably be useful
• Red Boots (possibly the hardest component to find as I don't want to spend too much on shoes)
• Red Gloves
• Dagger with hollister for arm
• Hollister/garter with gun
• Extra long Hollister to go across catsuit
• Eye patch
• Master the Russian Accent
• Actual event where such a masterpiece can be worn!

That is all.Real update to follow...someday

Monday, April 7, 2008

Continuation of the long-overdue description of my time in Finland

Airport troubles:

Wake up in the morning and throw in some last minute items into suitcase. Realize how simple a life can be packed up into 1.5-2 suitcases. They are bit over the weight limit (blame the massive weight of the bags themselves) but plenty of room within. Shower and emerge to have Brenda waiting for me on our downstairs couch. Momentarily terrified but recover long enough to receive a present from her. Also to listen to my new voicemail from an airport saying one of my flights has been cancelled. Crap. Not a good way to start the voyage.

Run upstairs and have the father figure out the situation. Flight from Minneapolis to Chicago was cancelled. Later find this was more than likely due to Air Force One being in Chicago that morning. Get a new flight arranged and we’re to leave in 20-30 minutes.

Four of us (mother, father, Lassi and myself) rush into car and leave for the airport (picture: Lassi watching the video of Ben and me playing "lumberjack" the night before). Get on an even earlier flight once arriving as there were extra seats available and it’d be beneficial for me due to the temperamental weather of Chicago. Have to leave for the waiting rooms immediately.

Crying starts happening. Blame the mother who started it all. Managed to dry up briefly for some last minute pictures.

Get on airplane, delayed an hour or so. No worries, at least I got this earlier flight.

Arrive in Chicago and my next gate to Munich is conveniently close. No scavenging around the Chicago airport for me. Call the mother to let her know I made it safe. Go online to settle some things, grab a sandwich and trade most of my currency to the Euro system. Get my first realization how drastic the rates have become. Make one final call to HIM. Planned to leave a message but, strangely enough, he left work early. Had a brief conversation and I proclaimed how I’ll miss him probably one too many times.

Boarding time.

Wait, no, have to wait on the runway for 2.5-3 hours. Call the parents again to inform them what’s going on. They brag that they’re at our favorite nearby Mexican restaurant and planning to see a movie afterwards. I’m stuck in a supposed thunderstorm. Turns out to not only be that but a tornado warning as well. Guessing the flight crew didn’t want to inform us of that little tidbit.

Eventually take off. Set watch to Helsinki time to adjust my body and mind a bit early. Watch the movie, “Into the Wild” which I’d been dying to see. Very good...made me miss home. Kid abandoning everything he once knew to start a fresh life? Sort of hit close to home. Sit next to a nice couple who are visiting their daughter who is studying in Germany for a year.

Land in Munich. Tiny inner scream on my part as this is my first time in Europe.

Unfortunately, luck was not on my side during this whole voyage. While meandering through the vast airport (just followed the majority of the crowd) I discover, due to the massive delays, I missed my flight by 20 or so minutes. Get assistance by a woman who, thankfully, brought me over to a service center where the rest of the passengers were not. I’m guaranteed a spot on the flight that leaves in 7 hours but they’ll also put my name on the waiting list for the one that leaves in 3. With nothing else to do I make my way to the gate and sit. Phone no longer working so I purchase some online time (first European purchase) to e-mail the mother my situation. Along with Kanto, the exchange student organization who was in charge of student-pickup (left: going INSANE in Munich. Right: my view of Germany).

Luckily make it on the flight that left in 3 hours. Tired so I sleep for most of the 3 hour flight; awaken long enough for the bizarre food (some unknown green substance which I ate only a couple bites out of) and to land. Get on the bus that takes me to the Helsinki terminal. I’m officially in Finland. Too bad I'm completely exhausted to really appreciate it.

A brief shining of luck was on my side: my bags were the first to arrive on the conveyor belt. Very surprising that they managed to travel with me the entire time. Meet up with the Kanto group; sleep only thing on mind. My tutor is no longer here but I meet my first roommate, Elina. She’s Finnish and also a tutor. Takes me to my home away from home. It's laughable how at this point I was so disoriented on how I was ever going to make it back to the airport in the future; be it to pick up the mother or flying back to the States. The trip seemed to go on forever and more difficult than how I feel now

Meet David. He takes me to the closest grocery store, LIDL, to purchase food in the morning. Appears nice; little do I know at that point how I’ll grow to despise this man.

Briefly unpack...luckily I brought sheets as I finally settled down around 9PM. All the stores would have closed at this point and I would have been stuck with the disgusting blankets previously left in my room (left: the basics of my room and the first Finnish purchase. right: view from my room the first night).

Sleepy sleep.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Attention span of a fishy

Major paper due tomorrow. Focuses on three articles and various questions. Started it today. Previously had 1.5 of the articles completed. Currently have almost 2 of the articles complete. Written about one of them. Have to condense the rest as I only have two available pages left, and that has to include space for bibliography.

What I’ve done tonight:

  1. Helped a Finnish student out with a journalism assignment. The differences between American and Finnish food. Really sweet girl. The 30 minute interview (with dinner) ended up being around 3.5 hours.
  2. Made food about an hour ago.
  3. Listened to music
  4. Looked up random airline flights
  5. Played an online game
  6. More music
  7. Different online game
  8. Checked a couple online journals
  9. Checked e-mail twice
  10. Facebooked
  11. Looked up a movie to watch as well as a couple others for the future
  12. Started to load the stream and wait patiently to test the quality of the movie.
  13. Likely to facebook in another minute or so
  14. Made up an excuse already for why the paper is going to be late...unfortunately I can only postpone it for a few hours. Due tomorrow or no credit. Ouchies.
  15. Just realize that I have Finnish homework tomorrow
  16. And other assignment in the class I'm currently "working" on

I RULE


Btw, uber snowstorm in Helsinki today. Actually, all around Europe from what I've been told. Uber equaling out to a few inches. Perkele!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Roses Never Fade (http://rosesnevereverfade.blogspot.com/) : you are a moron. I have no idea who you even are, let alone why you read my blogs. Your ignorant comment has been deleted. You know nothing about my knowledge of John Lennon, Mark Chapman, Jared Leto, Catcher in the Rye (odd combinations) and any other trite you spout out.

No idea who you are and I'm already done with you.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Jared Leto. Lindsey Lohan. Combine these two trainwrecks; both of whom I absolutely loathe. Surround them with the premise of John Lennon’s murderer and the days leading up to the actual deed. Not only does this equal a severe case of herpes but also the movie Chapter 27.

One aspect that's always bothered me, now especially after reading the book. Reading Catcher and the Rye while sitting on Lennon's stoop and waiting for the police to arrive. Couldn’t have chosen a better book? Come to think of it, both are travesties. In the literature and music worlds; however separate reasons. (aka CATR is terrible!)

EDIT: and for the record, I know DAMN well the makers of the movie did not put that book in themselves. Read: above post.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=TktOCF-iBTQ


Oh, and Happy Easter. I celebrated by eating Peeps on the train back to Helsinki. And sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Blurbs

Heading off to Lapland for the weekend. While some celebrate Easter, I'll be visiting Santa in his village.

Sweet Pea is officially ours. After the references being called and a home visit they determined our house and my parents are suitable for her. They'll be picking her up on Tuesday!

Have fun in Albertville this Easter, Lassi...you go find those Easter eggs! ;)

Sunday, March 9, 2008

New Addition

Sweet Pea is being fostered in IL. She is available in IL, WI, MN, and adjoining states. Sweet Pea is a 7.9 lb gold and white Shih Tzu who came into rescue from a puppy mill. She is shy but very sweet. She loves to snuggle and would be happy all day in your lap. She was shaved because her coat was matted. She will be a beauty when her coat grows out. She is learning to play and likes to run in the yard. She is very polite with treats and eats all her food very quickly! She gets along with older children and other animals. She is working on housetraining and leash walking and is a quick learner. She is spayed, up to date on her vaccinations and micro chipped. Sweet Pea came into rescue with 2 active ulcers on her eyes. They are healing nicely. She will need eye drops regularly to treat her dry eye. Sweet Pea is fostered in Carol Stream, IL and can be adopted in IL and adjoining states.

New dog the parents are looking into adopting. They have applied and their “references” (aka friends) have been contacted to prove they are suitable parents. Assuming that they get approval, this will be our new dog.

The thing I don’t approve of? The name. Sweat Pea? Hoping she’s not too old that we can’t change it. Oh, and the microchip factor. I'm don't endorse those.

I will admit I partially became emotional when my mom sent me the link whilst we were talking. Although it was a mix of various factors. Partially because I’m actually homesick. Have been for the past week or so. Not incredibly so but significant enough that when I stop to think I sadden and grow a little bit tired.

Anyways, back to the puppy situation.

When my mother returned to the States and during our weekly Skype conversation, she mentioned how we’ll discuss the matter of getting a new dog one I return. During the past couple days my mind drifted off to that conversation. And I made a reminder to myself to tell my parents to get a new dog if one comes there way. In all likelihood it would occur as my Dad was notorious for scouting the online dog-pounds even when we had Noel. Although, before I could even bring up the subject today my Mom mentioned how they’re going to go and get a dog without me.

Honestly, I’m fine with the matters. I assume the new dog will approve of me. And I really don’t want Buckles to be alone during the day. It was okay with Noel because she was always accustomed to that before we got Buckles. Plus her personality was much more of an individual. Buckles is far too friendly and playful of a dog to be alone during the day. He needs some sort of friend; or at the very least, support.

A new dog would do the trick. Now we’ll just have to worry that he’ll be okay with the new addition as well. Another matter I’m not concerned with because according to the mother he barely leaves their sides now. He was affectionate beforehand but it’s a combination of that and loneliness/desperation now.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

31/12-06/01

After relentless teasing from a certain Finn, I’m sitting myself down and determined to writeFinland! Almost two months have past so the elaborate stories are no about my experiences in more. What’s left is mostly breakdowns of the weeks since I’ve arrived.

That being said...

Pre-Finland!

31/01: New Years Eve. Worked worked worked. Wasn’t terrible; didn’t mind it one bit. Typically my New Years Eve plans are nonexistent or very subdued. Occasionally I actually want to celebrate. Or, at the very least, be surrounded by drunkards. Which is why working that night was of no concern to me.

JACK fm had a New Years Eve part at the Myth. Bret Michaels played as well as Firehouse and Courtesy of VH-1 and their incessant need for reality TV shows starting washed up singers. some local band. Excluding the local band (who were quite young) it was return of the 80’s.

Anyways, the main attraction for this event: open bar. JEI!

Arrived at the venue in mid-afternoon for set up. I really enjoy setting up venues. Arriving when completely empty and then watching your work come together only to eventually get destroyed by the end of the night. Somewhat rewarding.

Had to work during the show, obviously. However, we were allowed to drink as long as we didn’t make complete fools out of ourselves. We had a table set up and the three of us actually working would usually man it together. Occasionally one individual would leave but it’s not as much fun when alone. The third worker, Paul, left early for a party. Baby Steve and I were left.

Not much to say about the local band. One member was hitting on my adorable married boss; Mary Ann. Firehouse was a bore.

Around this time a couple employees at work asked if a certain someone, “him” was here yet. Apparently they’d convinced him to come despite the fact he was hating work and everything about it around this time. HE arrives around this time.

Bret Michaels comes on. I take random pictures around this time. Countdown occurs after a couple songs. Run over to the booth to hug Baby Steve as it hit midnight. Got a drink afterwards and get hugged by HIM. He soon leaves after this. Not sure if I ever got an explanation for the early departure.

Bret Michaels was what I was expecting. Played the songs everyone knows as well as covers simply because no one really cares about his solo work or any song that didn’t hit it big in the 80’s. Two chicks from the first season of “Rock of Love” were on stage making fools of themselves. Lacey and Heather (aka Heath the tranny, for me). Both dancing horribly (not to mention slutty) simply because they have their brief-15 minutes right now. Heather has lost weight but has not lost the tranny inside her/him.

Crowd. Awesome. Surprisingly, not as much teased hair as I was hoping for. Or tacky 80’s clothing. Almost mature of the people...damn them. As if to compensate for the lack of 80’s greatness, the drunken spectacles were enough. Baby Steve and I had a prime location so we witnessed many-a-people being escorted out. Included the easy walking of a person out to the more severe, 4 men holding an appendage each carrying the person out. Not to mention when security was called into action they sprinted like there was no tomorrow.

Clean up, clean up, clean up. Mary Ann escorted a couple winners from the station backstage to meet Bret Michaels. Little Jon (Bret’s second hand man of ROL) gives her his e-mail address as well as telephone number for the next time they (Bret and him) are in Minnesota. Mary Ann was adorably drunk. She came back yelling about how Bret Michaels gave her a beer and kissed her “four times.” “Bret Michaels kissed me four times! He kissed me four times!” was heard quite a few times. :)

Have two station vehicles at the venue. One remained there overnight due to our states and I managed to drive the other back. Apparently I was the most sober one. Crash at Mary Ann’s hotel room along with her husband, Baby Steve and a couple they know. Baby Steve snores horribly. I don’t think anyone got any sleep.

Became coherent the next morning and go pick up the other vehicle. Got a notice about leaving it overnight in the parking lot. Vehicle is now on record and will get a ticket next time that happens. Don’t think it’ll be hard to spot a large, red JACK fm van. Drive home.

1st-2nd: *shrug*

3rd: LASSI! For those unaware, I’d been speaking to a Finnish student for almost two months at this point. Coincidentally, I’m studying at his school the same time he’s studying at mine. Arrives at Minnesota this day and has plans to stay at my house for a few until we drive him down to Mankato. Work a bit and go straight for the airport.

Blah; airport. Was told by parents to go to one airport. Arrive there and one employee says I’m at the correct one. Ask another after searching around helplessly for a while. Am at wrong terminal. PERKELE. Quickly drive to Humphrey terminal.

Lassi’s there waiting. YAY! Drive back to my place; not much occurs. Beginning of one rough weekend for Lassi. ;)

04/01: Random events throughout Minneapolis. Visit the office for one last goodbye. Very cute with some, one in particular was confusing as hell. Anne told me not to cry and just get out of there. Which equals out to us both tearing a bit.

Say “later” (not goodbye!) to her, Mary Ann, Joe, Bubba G, Traffic, Erin and so forth.

A certain man was a dick. Hugged him goodbye and received nothing in return. Was out getting some air with Erin and he also came outside to smoke. Erin and I talked about our plans to go out to the bars that night. We asked him for recommendations and he didn’t look at my once. He went inside. I start to tear up. Damn girl gene. I believe the term “asshole” came up a few times.

Blah. Leave work to take Lassi to the greatness of the Mall of America. Us natives know it’s not that terrific. Lassi may now know that too. We did enjoy the restaurant Tiger Sushi. Num!

Side note: since being here in Finland I think the malls here are much better. And the sizes are pretty impressive too.

Drive back home for some free dinner. Leave soon afterwards for the bars.

Head back to Minneapolis/Uptown. Meet up with Erin. Whilst walking to the bar HE calls. We talk and I question why he was such an asshole to me. He denies the fact and says he’ll try to meet up with me later one. Also mentions how there’s “no way in hell” he’ll still be working at the station when I come back. Tears. Crap.

First bar was too busy. Head to Drink. Nice and relaxed. Music was terrible either. Except neither lasted for too long. Around midnight the mood entirely changed as did the crowd. Relaxed became drunken idiots. Julia shows up (run into her outside of the bar while cigarette break) but she’s distracted by the men she brought with her. Get drinks, drinks and more drink at the bar. Lassi discovers his first American beers!

HE shows up a bit later. Erin heads out as she apparently was quite gone. I believe throwing up was the conclusion to her night. We head out shortly afterwards. Get hugged by HIM. Confusing dick. Come back home late. Day one of this soon to be reoccurring trend!

05-06/01. hrmmmm. These two days have melded together. Went to Albertville shopping mall in search for running shoes. Found two pairs in the first store after checking out every single one at the MOA. Nice. Go to Uptown again to hit up Urban Outfitters. Seemed like the type of store Lassi enjoyed at the MOA and Uptown is always better. Manage to say “later” to my dear Chris as well.

Have encounter with Paris. If you know the story, you’re in the know. Was quite happy when I arrived, he was at the front door and I had my adorable little Finn with me! A not quite eloquent phrase comes to mind: such on that, Paris.

On the 5th the two of us went to Megan’s house. Guitar hero was played and Lassi thoroughly kicked my ass. I’ll get my redemption some day, dammit! Quite a few people are there including Megan, Daniel, Beth, Kathy, and Ben.

Introduce Lassi to drinking games. Namely, P&A and cups. This is done off of cheap wine. Head home. I get spooked by deer while driving. Arrive home late.

6th: last day! Includes my “last meal.” This term amuses and annoys the mother as it sounded like I was on death row. Brenda meets up so we can have out “later” moment too. She brings the greatness that is Icee for me and the entire family. Enjoy them with our meal. Classy.

Brenda stays around to help me pack. I had nothing done up until this point. Ooops, bad Tina! :D She becomes my little packing Nazi but it was much needed! Virtually the entire closest was on my bed and she managed to help to *greatly* narrow my selection. Lassi watches in amusement. Get everything vacuumed sealed up and I’m ready to go!

Brenda heads out. Lassi and I go bowling with Ben, Rob and a few other guys. He claims to have kicked my ass again. Not true! I believe he was 2 games, me 1. However I was on my way to dominating that final game. Rematch I say! :P

Go over to Ben’s to watch an anime. Drop Rob off, almost get pulled over and arrive home late once again.

First week of the year comes to a close. As well as my last week in Minnesota until May!

Friday, February 22, 2008


12.11.1994-12.02.2008
Aka
11.12.1994-02.12.2008

My dog died on Monday. Noel. I don’t recall the last time I genuinely was this upset. The worst part is I can’t even express it because my mother (who is visiting me until Saturday) won’t let me.

Her health has been declining slowly over the past couple of years. In the recent months she even began to lose her hair. January I left praying that she would make it at least until my return. Unfortunately that was not the case.

She went to the vet a couple weeks ago and there looked to be hope. Her stomach has been descending at a rapid pace and someone actually decided to question it. They found out what was wrong (can’t recall the name) but it dealt with her pituitary gland. There were tumors on it that caused the nutrients to store in her stomach. Wednesday she was supposed to go in for x-rays to determine if the tumors could be removed or if the gland should be shrunk instead. Either would have increased her odds and halted the disease.

Unfortunately, she also developed a bladder infection and it greatly worsened over the past week. During the weekend she stopped eating. My Dad fed her snow as it was one of her favorite things to eat. He spent the entire weekend just holding and petting her. Monday he brought her into the vet. They said she likely wouldn’t make it another day and they suspected her diseases went farther than what was originally suspected and she was likely full of cancer of the pancreas and liver. Dad put her down (as the three of us discussed over Skype the previous day). She was injected with a tranquilizer to be followed with the final shot. The tranquilizer itself did her in. As he put it in his e-mail to me,

“I feel kind of empty but know it had to be done. You would not have wanted to see or be with her during those last hours. Your memories of her will be only when she was healthy.”
It’s for the best. It really is. I just don’t want her to be gone. A part of me knew the odds of her making it until May were diminishing. But I really wish I could have just seen her one last time. The irrational side of me thinks her health started to decline simply because I wasn’t there lately. Like I abandoned her.

This is the first pet where I’ve experienced their full life. I picked her out in 1994 for my Mom’s Christmas present. Our other dog, Tasha died. I remember that day too but I didn’t live through all periods of her life. I remember picking her out and holding her in my little eight year old hands. My mom crying when her Christmas present that year was a small collar. Picking out names. My brother and father bringing her home after Christmas.

Her obsession with popcorn and pizza. (yes, I realize it probably wasn’t good for her health). Her affinity for digging random holes when we lived in Elk River. Following me to the neighbor’s house whenever I’d go over to play. Her hating Buckles when we got him but loving to occasionally sleep on him. Words that got her excited. And even when her health started to decline how happy everyone became when she got extra life in her and would run to us.

“Luckily” she’s being cremated. Dad got a granite box for her ashes and we’ll determine what to do with the remains when I come home. Either keep them or bury them underneath a tree outside. Buckles apparently is doing okay. He was avoiding her the last couple days as if he knew she was very sick. Seems the same except occasionally will wander off looking.

The picture is the last one taken of her; on January 20th as a reminder of home from the parents to me.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

30.01.2008

First blog of my stay in Finland. All I have to say is...

Sauna's are aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing. I love the person that invented them. I love that they were Finnish. I love Finland.

Genuine update of my stay here soon. I hope. Considering it's been, what, 3 weeks since I arrived? That just means they'll be epic in size.